Crying Consequences
by miss-blanche
Summary: When Lexie Grey asked Mark Sloan to 'teach her' she never imagined it would be a lesson on baby bumps and 'happily ever after's but dirty mistresses are surprising like that. AU continuation of 'All By Myself.' Mark/Lexie
1. Sweetest Thing

**A/N Being an Aussie I haven't seen any more of season five than the snippets I can find on youtube. The end of 5x10 struck a chord though and I realised how perfect this pairing is and then this stupid idea got stuck in my head nagging away at me and I had to write it, lol. So forgive me if I'm wrong on a few technicalities. I know Lexie told George she loved him, that he didn't return love, that Derek made Sloan promise not to go near Lexie and that Sloan didn't listen. But that's about it. Unless some of that's wrong... Call any mistakes I make the result of creative license. Or AU. Whatever. The whole story is AU so you may as well... lol. Anyway it's just the nagging idea of the consequences of Lexie's night in Mark's hotel room. Enjoy :) I hope to update quickly but I won't promise anything because every time I do it takes me a thousand years to update. **

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**Chapter One – Sweetest Thing**

She was dreaming.

Well, she hoped she was. She tried hard to ignore that it was hopefulness and not sureness that had her convinced she was dreaming because conviction was the only thing stopping her from throwing up.

She brought the test up to her eye level and shakily inspected it for the fifth time. Of course, having a photographic memory she needn't have bothered except she wanted to remember the despair of the result when she woke up so she could feel relieved for the rest of the day. Relief would be a nice change compared to the despair that neither George or Sloan wanted her as their girlfriend and that Cristina didn't want her as her intern. And of course it would be wonderful contrasted against the general despair of having a dead mother and a consequently alcoholic father.

There was a lot of despair going around.

She picked up another test and recognised it as the one she'd tried first. She wondered briefly why it displayed a smiley face. Why were smiley faces and positive results synonymous? She wasn't smiling. She could imagine a group of workers sitting around a table at some pregnancy test factory debating whether it was celebratory because of all the forty year olds who had been on IVF for nine years or non celebratory because of all the twenty seven year old surgical interns who didn't have any reliable men in their lives.

She picked up another that took bluntness to a whole new level. 'Pregnant' it read in bold, forbidding letters. A man had to have come up with that one.

There were others scattered around the tile floor that showed the traditional two blue lines. There was one that had a plus sign that reminded her of the positive end of a battery as opposed to a pregnancy test.

She sighed deeply and closed her eyes, willing herself to wake up. She had enough 'pregnancy despair' bottled up from this dream to give her a year's worth of relief. If she woke up now she wouldn't complain about anything for a whole decade.

The thought didn't stop her from remembering the night though. Having a photographic memory had one major advantage; you remembered everything. From the whole periodic table to how much milk you needed to make those fantastic pancakes Molly used to love. It also had one major disadvantage; you remembered everything. From the grey t-shirt he'd been wearing that fit him just so, to the way his expression had changed when he'd finally given in, to (even worse) how his voice had sounded when he'd said your name, over and over again… So much more endearing than 'little Grey' or' Dr Grey' or…

She hit the back of her head against the tile wall hoping it would give her a concussion and temporary amnesia. Permanent amnesia would have been better but she'd settle for temporary if it erased Mark Sloan from her mind for more than a second.

A loud thumping startled her.

"Lexie! Are you okay? You've been in there for an hour."

She yelped and scrambled to the bathroom floor trying to pick up all the pregnancy tests she could with one hand. The last thing she needed was George stuttering over her situation and accidentally mentioning it to Meredith.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk to me. But you should know we're friends. And friends don't avoid each other. They talk about things. We could talk-"

"I don't want to talk about it." She said plastering a smile on her face as she swung open the door and was met with a concerned looking George; "I know we're friends. I just… I don't feel like talking right now okay?"

She made to walk away but his voice broke through her determination to get to her room; "Really? Because… You kind of started up a cutting club and got suspended and… I don't know. I wouldn't be okay about that. If I had Cristina on my back I wouldn't be okay about it. I mean, Cristina is a good resident – the best – but she's not someone you want on your back and…"

"Shut up." She exclaimed. She immediately regretted her outburst because it had him looking more worried and concerned than ever. And the last thing she needed was George looking concerned. It thawed her too much. They hadn't spoken for so long about anything - being on call at alternating times just to avoid talking to each other - and she had missed it so much. She wasn't going to tell George about this just because she was elated he wanted to talk to her again. "I'm fine. Okay?"

He appraised her with a frown before nodding curtly.

She nodded back; satisfied that she had stemmed his monologue. She waited for another moment to be certain that he wasn't going to start again before walking to her room, her knees wobbling all the way.

She remembered the last time she'd told someone to shut up.

With another head bang – this one against the brick wall in her room as opposed to the tile one in her bathroom – she wondered miserably what Meredith was going to say when she found out.

What would Derek say?

But worst of all, what would Mark _Sloan _say?

She shook her head furiously. She wasn't going to tell Mark. She'd figure it out on her own. Mark Sloan was not the daddy type and she wasn't going to get him involved. He could never know.

_x x x_

"Nice board." Derek commented sipping on his cappuccino.

Mark turned with a grin, greeting his best friend; "Chief will be proud."

"We could probably go to Joe's after work – if it stays this ordered."

Mark chuckled. The likelihood of that wasn't high. He agreed anyway – any time spent with Derek was a reminder of why he couldn't go near Little Grey. And – more often than not – he needed a reminder when it came to staying away from her.

He took a sip of his coffee and told himself for the millionth time that morning that he was going to ignore any further Lexie related thoughts for the entire day. The idea pained him. He didn't know what it was about the doe eyed intern but she'd had him in a spin long before she'd come to his hotel room. The fact that he'd never really been in a spin about a woman like this (excluding Addison but that had been a fiasco) wasn't comforting either. Derek was right – he had no reason to be anywhere near Little Grey. No good would come from it. She wasn't the kind of women he needed. He wasn't entirely sure what kind of woman he needed but he damn well knew it wasn't the Lexie kind. And more to the point, he wasn't the kind of man she needed. She needed someone stable who wasn't going to hurt her. She needed stability. If O'Malley had more balls he would have been a perfect candidate.

Reminding himself about his impending surgeries he turned away from the board only to run straight into the unwelcome subject of his thoughts.

There it was. That adorable 'deer in the head lights' expression. Inwardly he hit himself. He wasn't going to entertain ideas of Lexie being adorable.

_No good will come from it. _His noble side chanted.

"Dr Sloan." She was startled looking. Her hair was all over the place like she'd rolled out of bed five minutes before seven and had stuffed it into a pony tail in the middle of driving to work. It kind of looked like the morning after she had come to his hotel room.

"_I had a sweater… A Purple sweater…" _

"_Lexie just…"_

"_No I have to get to work and do rounds… Cristina is mad enough as it is. I can't give her another reason for hating me-"_

"_You're suspended. You have time to talk to me."_

_She stopped her frantic search and turned towards him. Her expression told him she knew what was coming. She'd known since he'd opened his eyes and given her that sad look…_

"_We… I promised Derek and…" He faltered. It seemed so weak now that he'd already broken Derek's promise. Broken it well and truly. _

"_It would be better if we pretended it didn't happen."_

_She looked down at her bare feet. He could see the hurt in her eyes despite her downward gaze. He kicked himself inwardly. All he wanted to do was vault himself over the edge of the bed and… and… He didn't know. He just wanted that look gone._

'_It will be. But if she stays with you for more than one night it won't be. It always happens the same way.' He reminded himself bitterly. Lexie Grey was not going to be another unsatisfied victim of his dirty mistress ways. She was too fragile for it. She could handle this. She could handle being told he wasn't good enough for her. She couldn't handle being cheated on. _

"_It would be much better for you… If it didn't happen again."_

_She looked up then, confusion swirling in her eyes. She made to step towards him but he looked down, averting his gaze from hers._

"_You're not bad." She said softly; "I know you think you are, but you're not."_

"_I'd really rather prefer you keep that opinion then. And the only way I see that happening is if we pretend it didn't happen."_

_He looked up again. Her mouth was open in protest but he shook his head to silence her. If he knew one thing it was that no good would come from forming a relationship with Little Grey. He was outraged with O'Malley for hurting her so badly but he would be worse than outraged if he did it himself. Not again._

_Never again._

"Dr Grey, you look preoccupied."

The 'deer in the headlights expression' was replaced by the 'lion in the cage' look that Mark wasn't accustomed to. Lexie, angry? Perhaps he had commented on her appearance, maybe even inappropriately, but they had been mastering the art of being normal for weeks now. Months even. Two months. And his normal included inappropriate comments about people's appearances and preoccupations.

"I'm fine." She snapped. "Dr Yang assigned me to your service."

"I see. Well the patient-"

"Listen I know until now I haven't said anything or objected to any of this but I need you to just…" She stopped taking a slight breath, "Just… Just send me to get your coffee or something. I don't want to scrub in. I don't want to do surgery with you today. Just… Tell me to go get your coffee."

The words stung. They had been doing so well up until now. She had shown so little emotion about the whole thing. While ever she pretended she was fine in his presence he could deal with his attraction to her in an effective way. When she looked like she did now – emotional and upset – all he wanted to do was hold her. And that wasn't a good way of conveying to everyone else just how platonic their relationship was.

"But I'm your teacher… I'm-"

"Yeah, you're my teacher. And the last time we did anything teaching related it didn't end well so… Please… Don't try and teach me anything. Just make me get your coffee."

With a sigh he took a ten out of his pocket and gave it to her. Without a further glance his way she took it and headed off to the coffee cart. He watched her go sadly wondering why everything had been fine up until now. Why was it a problem now? Why was it all resurfacing now?

Inwardly Lexie Grey answered his question for him as she got his coffee.

_I can't be around him now. Not like this. Not with the mother-load of soapie plots growing inside me. Not today… Not now…_

_Shit. _

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**I would really appreciate reviews and there will be a dirty mistress of the plastic surgeon variety for every person who does ;)**


	2. Popular Mechanics for Lovers

**A/N I never expected such a good reception for this story but I was pleasantly surprised. Hopefully, I can meet expectations with the second chapter. I'm finding it a little difficult to get inside Lexie's head but I'm getting Grey's Anatomy Season 4 for christmas so I'll probably sit down and absorb her character over the next few days. These first couple of chapters are really just establishing the drama so the ball won't be rolling until maybe chapter four or five? I'm debating whether to sit down and actually write a plan - I've got one in my head, but it'd be helpful to have it all out. Anyay, I'm going to stop** **soliloquising. Or monologuing. Whichever. Enjoy! :)**

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**Chapter Two – Popular Mechanics for Lovers**

It took a week before Lexie had enough strength to actually book an appointment with the acting OB/GYN. She spent a good deal of that week staying quiet and avoiding Mark, Derek and Meredith. It wasn't difficult – Mark was already trying to avoid her and Derek's mother had come to town so she had monopolised a great deal of his and Meredith's limited time.

It had also occurred to her in that isolated period that perhaps she had some serious illness that resulted in positive pregnancy tests. She tried not to guess at any – she was emotional enough. An optimistic voice in her head gave her some solace, convincing her that she might leave the appointment with only some minor illness that could be treated in a matter of days. That would have been the best case scenario – something that could be flushed out with antibiotics and rest.

She refused to make plans surrounding an impending pregnancy. _Not until you're sure. _She chanted to herself. _Not until you're sure._

The day of the appointment it took her five attempts to get in her car before she finally decided to get a cab. Her hands were shaking wildly and she wasn't sure that if she got behind the wheel she wouldn't drive straight into the bay or something equally crazy.

She also made a few attempts at calling Molly. They hadn't spoken in a while – they'd both found it easier to avoid each other than to face the truth of their grief ravaged father – and Lexie thought she might have some advice in this area. She realised though, when she got to the fourth ring and Molly still hadn't answered, that the only person she really wanted to speak to was her Mother. That had had her in a crying fit for a good hour. She hadn't made any attempts at calling anyone after that.

"Where're you going lovie?" The cab driver asked when she'd shakily stepped into the warm confines of the vehicle.

"Seattle Grace." The reply was strangled sounding and she quickly tried to clear her throat. "Seattle Grace Teaching Hospital."

It was one of her limited days off and she knew if she was recognised at the hospital she'd get a lot of attention. She tried to tell herself it would be easy. After all, all she had to do was avoid the surgical wing. And the cafeteria. And the coffee cart. And the elevators. And the stairwell. And the main entrance. And the lab… And probably the clinic. And any nurses stations in between because nurses were infamous gossips. She swallowed thickly and wondered how long she really expected to keep it all a secret.

_Not until you're sure. _She thought unsteadily. _Don't worry about secrets until you're sure._

* * *

Mark was already suffering when he ran into Lexie in the elevator. He hadn't slept in thirty hours having had a sixteen year old motorbike accident victim come in with third degree burns. It was cold and that had aggravated what had been a perfectly innocent twelve hour virus and turned it into a three day fever extravaganza. The cafeteria had made staff changes and consequently he hadn't been able to find his favourite sandwich type – his stomach was grumbling from the all day hunger strike. Being in a confined space alone with someone he was trying hard to resist, well… It gave a whole new meaning to 'bad day.'

"Dr Grey."

She glanced up nervously and gave a hesitant smile; "Dr Sloan."

He frowned. He had been watching Lexie from afar for days and he had pegged today as her day off. Why was she at the hospital? Coming to see Meredith? The questions plagued him until he relented and continued conversation; "Seeing Meredith?"

"Oh no." She said quickly, glancing at him nervously; "I… Well, I left… my car keys in my locker and I… Needed to go to the grocery store and I thought I'd… Well I need my keys so…"

"Oh."

Silence enveloped them as the elevator made it's slow descent. Mark tried to think of something to day – anything to say – that Derek would consider platonic and professional. Nothing sprang to mind. All he wanted to ask about was her state of fluster. Had she had a fight with the toe rag O'Malley?

"Made any progress with O'Malley?"

She looked up with a frown. "Why would you ask?"

"Well…" He struggled. "We're friends. We haven't talked in a while and-"

"The thing with George… It's not going to happen. But I told you that weeks ago, months even. And we haven't talked because you said that we shouldn't."

"I said that we should keep things professional."

"Actually, you said it would be better if it didn't happen again."

"That doesn't mean we can't talk. We can still talk." The words escaped him without permission. Talking wasn't considered avoidance. Talking was considered taking an interest – a big interest. Talking was the thing they had avoided in months - since the hotel incident. Talking was not what Derek would consider normal.

Without a glance his way she replied quietly; "No offence intended Dr Sloan but I don't think we can."

The elevator came to a stop and Lexie walked out of it with her head bowed. It took him a few moments to realise that he was supposed to be getting out too, making his way back to his big, warm hotel room.

The thought seemed less appealing than it had one elevator ride ago.

* * *

In the cab ride home Lexie was torn between obsessing over her appointment and obsessing over her elevator ride out of the hospital with Mark Sloan. In the end, the Mark Sloan encounter was – as she reminded herself every few seconds or so – less important. The appointment though wasn't something she really welcomed thoughts about. Not now… Not now that she was sure.

_Dr King was a pleasant faced man, although not overly endowed with good looks like so many of the doctors at Seattle Grace. He had a solid reputation as an obstetrician and the well earned respect of his colleagues. Lexie didn't care about any of that though; all she cared about was whether he ran in the same hospital circles as plastic surgeons like Mark Sloan which, to her delight, he didn't._

"_I took a few home pregnancy tests." She wondered idly how many different ways 'a few' could be received and decided not to elaborate any further; "They were all positive but… I mean there are other causes. Right? I mean… I might not be pregnant."_

"_No there's a possibility that you're not." He said softly, "But we'll take a look first."_

_She was glad he didn't delve into her emotional state too much. She didn't think she could handle questions like 'Are you keeping the baby?' Or 'Is your husband coming in later?'_

_The testing procedure was mildly uncomfortable but she found it easy to block that out. She didn't care how uncomfortable it was just as long as it didn't emit a positive result. _

"_Okay…" He murmured, looking at the screen intently. She liked that there was a frown on the man's earnest face. It suggested that there was something more morbid than a baby appearing on the monitor._

_She found that oddly comforting._

_But then he turned to her with a broad smile; "There's the heart beat." He turned the screen towards her and pointed out the pulsating mass; "I'd say you're about eleven weeks along."_

_She stared at it dumbfounded._

_There was a baby… An actual real live baby inside her._

_She suddenly felt very ill._

"_I… I think I need a…"_

_He waited patiently for coherence to bless her._

"_A… bag." She motioned wildly. _

"_Oh…" He reached over towards the sink and produced a plastic bag. She didn't have time to gauge whether he was disgusted, or to understand why she was vomiting – morning sickness or just because she'd received such bad news? _

_She hadn't eaten a lot that day so there was nothing really to vomit. Only a bit of spit and the new found knowledge that she was carrying Mark Sloan's baby._

She cringed as the moment replayed in her head, the details of the office and Mr King's concerned face crisp and defined. In school photographic memory had been such a blessing. Now it was a freaking curse. A curse sent by some lunatic God trying to torture her further. As if that was possible. As if that was even freaking possible.

She couldn't think. She couldn't plan. Nothing made sense. All she could see clearly was the image of her surrounded by bottles and diapers and prams… And it scared the hell out of her. She was a surgeon. She was the smart girl. She had always been the smart girl. Children had never factored into her life plan. Well, they had but only when she had reached her late thirties. Her sister had always teased her about that. "You'll be barren and then you won't be able to have kids." She'd said. Barren. The word seemed inviting. She knew it was horrible – wrong of her to wish for something so many women suffered through – but she couldn't help it. She didn't know how to be the pregnant girl. She didn't know how she would even manage it. Could she? She wasn't married or in a serious relationship. She didn't have the right kind of salary for a nanny. Being a surgeon wasn't exactly conductive for raising children.

She groaned. She needed advice. The time had come to share the secret. But with who? Molly would encourage her to ditch work and experience the joys of motherhood, which was fine for someone like Molly but… Not entirely for her.

George? Oh god no. He'd be more torn up about it than she was. Or he wouldn't give a damn – too caught up in his own personal life and the dramas of Izzie, Cristina and Meredith…

Meredith.

With a sigh she leant over the console and changed her destination.

She knew who she had to tell.

* * *

When Meredith finally answered the door after Lexie's eighth knock she looked flustered and preoccupied. Not something unusual but it put Lexie off straight away.

"Lexie… Hi." She smiled guardedly; "What are you doing here?"

"I…" She shrugged and averted her gaze to her feet, "I just needed someone to talk to. But if you're busy I can…"

"No… No, I'm… Come in."

Lexie shuffled into the hall gratefully. She was uncertain where to head from there but Meredith decided for her.

"Izzie's in the kitchen and Alex is watching TV so do you want to come upstairs, to talk?"

She looked mildly uncomfortable. Lexie didn't feel right imposing on her older half sister so blatantly but she knew she'd go crazy if she kept it to herself any longer. She needed someone to tell her what to do. The uncertainty was killing her.

"Sure." She breathed.

It was a nice house, Lexie noticed. A place fit for raising children. Maybe with less room mates and dirty clothes in the hallway but still… Fit.

"So." They entered Meredith's bedroom and she turned to Lexie expectantly. "Talk."

She took a deep breath.

"I'm pregnant."

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**I am willing to provide misteltoe, Mark Sloan and a setting appropriate for snogging for reviews ;)**


	3. Talk Like That

**A/N So I spent my boxing day watching Grey's Anatomy Season 4 and writing this, which was freaking awesome. I seriously need a life but anyway :) The characterisation that bothered me this chapter was Mark. I think I might just be overly paranoid but eh. This one was slightly longer than the other chapters but I had so many seperate dramas between so many different people that I couldn't really help it, lol. I applaud Shonda Rhimes for being able to keep up with it all. Thanks to all the awesome reviewers! And I say again: Ball. Rolling. Chapter four or five. I still feel like I'm establishing setting and... Whatever. Tell me your thoughts on it anyway. Enjoy :)**

**Note (27th of December) - Thanks to lizzie-tish who picked up my misuse of the word 'virtuosity.' I would thank her personally but for some weird reason I can't find a PM link so I'll just do it here. I did actually have the virtue v.s virtuosity debate with myself but for some insane reason I went with the second. Thanks anyway! :)**

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**Chapter Three - Talk Like That**

"How… How did this happen?" Meredith asked flopping onto the bed, her face taut in confusion.

Lexie dropped down next to her; "It was a one night thing. It was stupid. I didn't think it was then but… Well, obviously it seems stupid now."

Meredith nodded. She didn't know why her awkward half sister had come to her for help, but in an effort to be sisterly and supportive she decided not to ask. Instead she merely stood and closed the door.

"I didn't know who else to tell." She said quietly, answering Meredith's inward question; "I have no one to tell. Molly – she wouldn't understand. I don't really have that many friends here. I thought George…" She shook her head; "So I came here. I know… It's weird. And I know you probably don't want to deal with my problems but I have literally… _No_ idea, what I'm going to do."

"Well… I don't know either, you know that right? I'm not the best advice giver here." Meredith replied, falling back onto the bed.

"I know. And I know, you don't have to deal with my problems or solve them but… Meredith what do I do?"

She contemplated for a moment. What would she do if she was in this situation? Certainly not go to Lexie for help. She'd be the last person she'd confide in. But, as fate would have it, Lexie trusted her enough to tell her before anybody else so she couldn't very well turn her away no matter how much that trust scared her.

"I'm not the best person for this." She reiterated, "Molly would have more idea than me…"

"Molly isn't a surgeon." Lexie interrupted. "Molly is… Different from us."

Meredith didn't like the sound of that. She and Lexie were eons apart when it came to decision making and personality traits and… Pretty much everything. The only thing the two did have in common was their profession. And maybe their father. But at times they didn't even have that much.

"Have you told the Father?" She asked, "Do I know the father?"

"The Father is definitely out of the picture." Lexie said with an unamused, nervous laugh.

"So you're not going to tell him? Do I know him?"

Lexie felt hopeless. She didn't want to lie to Meredith. Lying defied the whole purpose of her opening up and confiding in her sister. To make an informed decision, for Meredith to give her any helpful advice whatsoever she needed to put all the information on the table. But telling her that she'd slept with Mark Sloan and was now carrying his illegitimate love child… Well that was terrifying and impossible to consider.

"Lexie?" Meredith's concerned voice cut through her worrying; "Do I know the father? Is he from the hospital? It's not Alex is it?"

"No… NO!" Lexie exclaimed in horror; "God no. Alex… God…"

Meredith inspected her closely, her eyes sharp and intense. Lexie hadn't realised before how powerful Meredith's Grey's gaze was but she was beginning to realise now. She felt like her skin was invisible; like everything that covered up the truth dancing merrily at the very forefront of her thoughts '_MARK SLOAN IS THE FATHER!' _was on blatant display. The truth was being steadily undressed without her permission and it was that in the end that made her admit in a nervous stammer; "It's Mark Sloan."

Meredith's pupils dilated dramatically and her mouth dropped open in shock; "Mark Sloan? _Mark Sloan_?! Lexie!"

"It was stupid." She said quickly jumping up so she could defend herself properly, "I… I… He's just... I…"

"Mark Sloan???" Meredith exclaimed. She stood angrily now, her hands on her hips; "When did this happen???"

"A couple of months ago." Lexie admitted; "I was lonely. I'm always lonely but he made this woman speak and he was being… Nice. He was listening to me, and talking to me and we were kind of friends and then he made this woman speak and now almost three months later I'm knocked up… Okay?" She fell back on the bed with a huff, giving up on the idea of defending herself. She really did deserve a lecture. She was going to be the good little kid sitting on the stool being told off for hitting her sister. That was fine with her; it implied everything was out of her hands and if she needed anything it was for someone to take control.

"I told Derek to tell him not to touch you!" Meredith cried; "I knew he would do something like this! I knew it! Mark Sloan?!"

"I know!" She cried in reply.

"You have to tell him. He's Mark Sloan but you are _going_ to tell him."

Lexie gasped. "How can I tell him? He's Mark Sloan! He'll just… He won't…"

"Stop stammering." Meredith demanded; "There will be no stammering. You have sex with Mark Sloan, you get pregnant with Mark Sloan's baby, you have to tell Mark Sloan about said baby."

Lexie wrung her hands in anxiety. "What if he wants me to abort it?"

Meredith frowned; "Aren't you going to anyway?

"I don't know." She replied with an honest shrug; "It's nuts, trying to be a surgical resident and trying to have a baby at the same time but I've never really believed in abortion. That's naïve isn't it?"

Meredith sunk into the bed once more; "Yeah. Kind of. In a morale kind of way."

"Do you think I could be a surgeon and a Mother at the same time?"

"I don't know. People do it. My Mother did it. I mean, technically she was my Mother but she wasn't the kind of Mother who made my pageant costumes and who made sure I had lunch money." Meredith shook her head. She wouldn't usually disclose such information. She really was in some kind of sisterly-drama related shock.

"I never though I'd raise a kid like that." Lexie confessed, "I always thought I'd marry someone outside the hospital and that he'd look after the baby. Or babies. Or whatever."

"That's naïve."

"I know. I'm… Naïve."

The two sisters sighed in unison.

"You should still tell him." Meredith advised, "I'm not saying you should base your decision on what he says but… I don't know. Maybe he'll be supportive or… Whatever."

"You think?"

"No."

Lexie sighed again; "I know I shouldn't have gotten involved with him. Everyone says it. The nurses, you, Derek, everybody. But he was… He was just nice to me. And I was lonely and… I've got to tell him?"

"You've got to tell him."

They both sighed again.

"Shit."

* * *

Despite evidence and talk to the contrary, Mark Sloan was an intelligent man. More intelligent than most. He thought it was given, being a Doctor and all. Intellect related doubt in his opinion, really should have gone out the window once he'd got his medical degree. So after so many years of unsatisfied sexual partners he'd had enough sense to detect a pattern. Women didn't like him. They liked his performance in the bedroom, but they didn't like that the house with the white picket fence didn't come with it. He'd also had enough sense to realise that some women, like Lexie Grey, were more suited to the white picket fence path, as opposed to the 'friends with benefits' path. And he definitely had enough sense to realise that when women like Lexie Grey ventured down the 'friends with benefits' path, they usually ended up crying and miserable at the end of it. And in conclusion, intelligently, he had deduced that being the kind of person that was only interested in being a friend with many, many benefits, he had no place in the life of Lexie Grey. At all. He was bad, she was good; it was a simple equation that could only end with some kind of mushroom shaped cloud.

So why, being intelligent, fairly logical and eerily good at predicting the reactions of women, was he allowing himself to be dragged off to an on call room by the symbol of virtue?

And more importantly, why on Earth was she suddenly going back on the conversation they'd last had in the elevator? Being an intelligent man he could usually tell when a woman was well shot of him. Occasionally he decided to ignore the warning signs but with Lexie he'd done everything in his power to make her happy. Sans the hotel incident. That had been a momentary lapse in judgement. But this made no sense. He'd made it very clear no kind of relationship could form between them and she'd made it very clear that in that case, she didn't want to talk or be professionally friendly to him either.

"Lexie, this can't…"

"Shut up." She said, her voice shaking slightly. It was just as shocking now as it had been when she'd first said it to him and it was the shock more than anything that forced him through the door and into the dark abandoned on call room.

When she closed the door he regained some sense and turned to her; "We can't do this. I'm not good for you."

She didn't seem to be listening. She motioned for him to sit on the bed which he did more out of curiosity than compliance. She took a deep breath once she had ascertained that he wasn't going anywhere and began pacing.

"Is there something…?" He began.

"Just…" She held a hand up to stop him. "I'm not going back on what I said. I said we're not friends. I meant it. I'm not… Confiding in you. That said… I have dragged you in here to tell you something. It doesn't mean… I want to talk or…" She fiddled nervously with her hands.

He looked at her concernedly. She made it incredibly hard for him not to care about her. She made it exceedingly difficult to remember why he couldn't go near her. All nervous and flustered – like she was frequently in his presence – she presented as fragile, and Mark was nothing if not a sucker for Lexie Grey's fragility.

_Mushroom cloud. Fucking mushroom cloud Mark._

"I'm just going to say it." She said in a breath, looking him in the eye; "And you should realise, no matter what you say, that it's going to be my decision what I do. Not yours. So it doesn't matter what you say." She seemed to be reassuring herself rather than him; "Okay. I'm, pregnant."

He blinked. It wasn't possible. Not freaking possible. Panic shot through his veins like ice. He was accustomed to the feelings – being a surgeon he was famous friends with panic. But this wasn't something he could fix with a scalpel. Or a defibrillator. Or any other medical instrument.

The symbol of virtue. The freaking symbol of virtue, and he'd gone and ruined it. Torn it down. He was a wrecking ball. He was Lexie Grey's wrecking ball. The last thing in the world he wanted to be. The reason he'd avoided her since the hotel incident. The reason he'd denied himself something he usually wouldn't even consider denying. She was some kind of beautiful statue he really hadn't wanted to ruin.

"What?" He managed to get the word out. Some part of his brain was functioning normally enough to hope that she didn't repeat herself. He wasn't sure he could handle hearing the words for a second time.

She shook a little, a tear running down her cheek; "I haven't figured out what to do yet. I'm not ruling out anything."

"You haven't decided?" That was oddly comforting. He didn't know why. This was the last thing he wanted to make decisions about.

"No." She shook her head wildly, "I thought I should tell you first. Not that this isn't my decision. I'm going to be the one who decides but… I thought you should know."

"Why?" He spluttered.

"Because… You should know. It was a mistake what happened between you and me." She said the last part bitterly; "So when consequences ensue you have to deal with them responsibly. You have the right to know."

"But… We… We used protection. Are you sure it's me?"

He knew how it sounded. He would have been pissed if he had been on the receiving end of it. But it wasn't his attempt at passing off responsibility, not for the baby. It was him trying to savour any chance that he wasn't the culprit. He couldn't be the one who had ruined her. Not when he'd tried so hard not to.

At first she looked hurt but then her face set in a scowl; "Yes. I hadn't… I hadn't been near anyone in months."

She stopped and then said indignantly; "This took a lot for me. To tell you. It was a big step. I wasn't going to tell you. I wasn't going to acknowledge this, but here I am, acknowledging it and telling you and here you are pawning off the responsibility. What… Were you… All along, when you were being nice to me, was it just some kind of ploy to get me to into bed? Was the listening and friendly behaviour and the concern really all just a deceptive tool to sleep with me?"

"Of course it wasn't!" He exclaimed.

"Really? And what about the nurses? What about every other woman you've slept with? Did you tell them the same thing? That the charm was really genuine? That it wasn't just the means to an end?"

"I just want to know how this happened. Is that wrong? That I want answers?"

"You want to know how it happened?" She asked her tone dripping in irony; "Let me refresh your memory. You noticed I was mildly attractive, you listened to my sob story and showed some bullshit concern, and I was stupid enough and naïve enough to think I had found the inner softie of yet another jerk. Am I a jerk magnet Mark? What is it about me that makes you… _Jerks_ think you can just walk all over me? Please tell me so I can change whatever the hell it is."

"It's not…"

"Forget it." She snapped, "Just forget it. Now you know. That's good enough for me."

And with that she flounced out of the on call room, slamming the door on her way out.

* * *

He wasn't sure what was comforting about the attending lounge but he confined himself to it for the rest of the day. He found some kind of twisted solace in a wad of paper work the consistency of a book on the history of the world pre 150 AD, and five different cups of coffee. He was well overdue for it anyway – he had sacrificed documentation for surgeries for weeks.

When Derek found him however, he found himself wishing he'd confined himself to somewhere like the clinic instead. Somewhere his best friend would never ever venture.

"What are you doing?" Derek asked incredulously, observing the mountain of paper.

"Paper work." Mark replied indignantly; "Is that such a shock?"

Derek smirked; "Bad day?"

"You could say that."

"What's with all the coffee?"

Mark sighed in exasperation; "Can't a man do his paper work without a cross examination?"

"Not when the man in question only does his paper work when something momentous is bothering him."

"Nothing bothering me."

"Ahuh. You just brood then."

"I will. It's good for the complexion."

He smirked again in reply, his hand on the door to leave. Mark didn't know what compelled him to say what he said next but he found the words tumbling out anyway against his will; "Did you know Addison was pregnant?"

Derek's smirking expression slid from his face and was replaced with a frown; "What?"

"Addison." Mark sighed; "After you left. When we were together, she got pregnant."

Derek stared at him, open mouthed.

"She had an abortion."

"Why are you telling me this?" Derek responded softly.

"Because I didn't want her to. I wanted her to have the baby. But she thought I'd make a terrible father."

"Why are you telling me this?" Derek repeated, his expression becoming more livid by the moment.

"Because I need you to tell me she was wrong."

The two of them stared at each other silently for a long time. Mark infuriatingly calm and Derek open mouthed and angry at him.

"You want me to tell you you'd make a good father?"

"Yeah."

He let his hand fall from the door slowly before he fell into the couch lining the wall. "Why?"

"Do I need a reason?"

"I would think so."

Silence enveloped them again. Mark picked up one of his empty coffee cups and fiddled with the lid absently. Would Derek forgive him for breaking his promise? What kind of damage had he done already reopening the well shut Addison drawer?

He sighed and plunged into oblivion; "Lexie's pregnant."

He didn't turn to gauge Derek's reaction.

"Lexie?" He was confused, "Lexie's pregnant but what…?"

There was a pause and Mark waited for the inevitable.

"You slept with her."

He didn't bother giving any word of confirmation.

"After I asked you not to? After _Meredith_, asked you not to?" His voice was rising in amplitude and Mark sensed that he was now standing behind him; "The one girl I ask you not to get involved with…."

"You're not the boss of me." He said petulantly, turning to defend himself. He knew Derek was justified in everything he said. He didn't deserve Lexie and he was wrong. But he didn't want to be told as much. He wanted assurance. He wanted advice, not a lecture.

"Right. So you did it just to spite me? Just to spite Meredith?"

"That's a bit self absorbed don't you think?"

"Self absorbed?!" Derek spluttered. "Lexie is a sweet girl who's been through a lot. We asked you not to mess with her because of that. It's you, who's self absorbed here. I'm not going to comfort you because Addison aborted your baby. I'm not going to comfort you because _my wife_ aborted your baby. I'm not going to pretend that you have the faintest hope of being a good father just because you did the wrong thing by Lexie."

"I know I did wrong, alright? If that's what you want to hear; I did wrong." He didn't know if he was shouting at Derek or himself; "But I can't change it now."

"You're unbelievable."

"I did the same thing you did! An intern named Grey."

"No one told me not to get involved with Meredith."

"You were still married."

"Oh, so it's my fault now?"

"No! But who are you to tell me not to get involved with Lexie?! She was lonely. She… She…" Had looked hurt. Rejected. Unworthy of him. She'd been fragile and desperate and for some insane, illogical reason she had talked to him about it. She'd trusted him with her secrets.

And he, for some insane, illogical reason, had found that trust completely and utterly intoxicating.

"Don't pretend you care." Derek muttered venomously.

"I do care." He growled in reply; "And you didn't care that I cared. You only cared about making sure Meredith was convinced that her little sister wasn't being corrupted by the big bad wolf."

The both huffed in silence for a moment, glaring petulantly at each other. Mark had the urge to do something violent and unnecessary. Perhaps push his paperwork off the desk in fury or throw a punch at Derek's furious face. But he realised suddenly that Derek wasn't the one he was angry at. He was angry at himself for being the big bad wolf who _had_ corrupted Little Grey riding hood. He was angry that every relationship he'd had with a woman had ended in tears and miserable situations like this one. He was angry that he'd given Lexie a reason not to trust him.

"If you want to be angry at me, then fine, be angry at me." Mark said finally, turning back to his paper work, "But if it's any consolation, I'm more angry at myself than you'll ever be."

"You? Angry at yourself?"

"Yes it's hard to believe that beneath this smug, charming, plastic surgeon exterior there's actually a conscience." He said sarcastically.

And for some insane, illogical reason, Derek Shepherd actually cracked a smile.

"Smug and charming? Shall I remind you of the 'you look just like her Dad' experience or the 'Hahn' experience or the-"

"Yeah, yeah." He said gruffly.

"So what are you going to do?"

He sighed, dropping his pen on the desk and turning again; "what would you do?'

"We're different."

"I know that." He said with a roll of his eyes; "That's why I'm asking."

"This is a new you."

"There is no new me. Just a pissed off me that wants some decent advice from the guy who's supposed to be my best friend."

"Despite the fact you slept with the guy's wife and the guy's girlfriend's sister and…"

"Apart from all of that." He interrupted.

"Take responsibility." Derek said simply; "Take responsibility and support her, whatever decision she makes."

"And don't offer an opinion?"

"What's your opinion?"

"No fucking clue."

"Then no. Just responsibility. And support. Start with that."

Derek closed the door with more firmness than necessary telling Mark that he wasn't completely forgiven but there was discussion of it.

No opinion? Well that wasn't completely true. He did have an opinion on what Lexie should do. On what he wanted her to do, but he'd been too much of a wuss to say it out loud.

"Some big bad wolf." He muttered to himself.

Could he voice this opinion? Could he tell Lexie what he wanted her to do even if it was her decision? Would she take it on board anyway?

With a groan he leaned back in his chair.

No. He'd done enough already. He didn't deserve an opinion on this.

_Responsibility. _He thought sternly. _Support._

He was going to find her and establish responsibility and support.

After work.

* * *

**So a bribe in the form of angry!Mark is in order. Every reviewer gets the opportunity to make him happy in their own way. Maybe you could get him more coffee or something nice like that? ;)**


	4. Can't Stop This Thing We Started

**A/N Firstly, has anyone heard the news about Chyler Leigh being pregnant? The universe works in mysterious ways. Secondly - thank you to those who reviewed!! You guys rock :) Thirdly, if you find any mistakes please tell me because my editing is a little rushed - I'm trying to get this up before my Dad gets home and monopolises the computer. Anyway, enjoy and tell me what you think as always :D **

* * *

**Chapter Four – Can't Stop This Thing We Started**

Lexie Grey was pissed beyond belief.

Not drunk pissed. Along with humiliation and self hatred, carrying Mark Sloan's baby resulted in abstaining from drinking alcoholic beverages. Which was really just another reason to hate Mark Sloan – in any other situation she would have got over her anger with the wonder liquid vodka. Now all she could do was sit in her crapartment alone, growing increasingly furious by the minute at the fact that she had no one to rant to about it all. Mark Sloan was a commitment phobic bastard who tried to tell her that he hadn't conceived her child. George O'Malley was a babbling idiot who couldn't keep hold of his balls long enough to come home and face her. Alex Karev was just… An arsehole. He was a guy. It was given.

Boys were stupid.

She glared petulantly at the grimy wall in front of her. A year ago she'd been in Harvard med. She'd been looking forward to the high flying life of a surgical residenct and being an Aunt. She'd had a perfectly happy family to go home to whenever she wanted and she'd even had a pretty nice boyfriend.

Now she was knocked up and alone. Her mother was dead, her sister was avoiding their family home and everything to do with it (Lexie included), her father was a raging alcoholic who couldn't remember his own name let alone how many daughters he had and she was sitting in possibly the worst accommodation in Seattle on her own. She knew she was complaining. She knew she was complaining bitterly and that nothing would come from sitting in her apartment complaining bitterly except more anger but she really couldn't find it in herself to stop.

_Fuck Mark Sloan_. She thought furiously. _Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him_.

Lexie wasn't usually one to curse but she was pissed off, and when one was completely and utterly consumed by their rage they had the right to rant and say fuck. A lot.

She knew there was a good chance that her rage was only partly justified. Some of it was probably just her hormones acting up. A PMS effect of sorts except five thousand times worse.

And the shittiest part of it all – the thing that really made her want to just fucking _murder_ Mark Sloan – was that no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get his face out of her head. Or his denial; _"Of course it wasn't!"_

There was no truth there. Only some arrogant arsehole trying to save face. He didn't care that she was pregnant. He just wanted to go back to avoiding her and pretending they had never had sex.

And then, at the injustice of it all, Lexie Grey started bawling.

She tried to convince herself it was hormones. And some of that convincing worked because even though she enjoyed a good cry every now and then – it was healthy – she didn't _bawl_. But it took so long for her to get all the tears out that she knew something else was behind it. Everything. It wasn't just about the baby. That was just the icing on a perfect year. It was having nobody. Not one person.

_Except, _a voice said meekly, _maybe the baby._

She stopped crying abruptly, sniffing slightly and glancing down at her abdomen. What was she doing? She was a surgical intern. She had nobody and very little money. Why was she still here crying? Crying wasn't solving anything!

She grabbed a sweater and stormed out of the apartment determinedly. It wouldn't take her long to drive to Meredith's. She knew she was still alone – Meredith wasn't family of any kind – but she was the only person who came even remotely close. Lexie couldn't understand how it had come to this; from having two wonderful parents and a sister she loved dearly to one half sister who hated her guts. She shook her head. _Exactly why you can't go through this. _

Meredith's neighbourhood was a lot prettier than Lexie's – there was an abundance of large houses surrounded by flowery gardens glittering from the dew and frost. Lexie ignored all that keeping her eyes to the slippery road. The last thing she needed on her mind was a comparison between this street and her street.

She knew she was pushing her luck by approaching Meredith again so soon. Their relationship was improving but there were limits. Lexie didn't want to give the impression that she was a stupid little twat who didn't have anyone else to depend on (although, that wasn't entirely untrue) but she was desperate. She knew the rules and regulations surrounding abortion – for a few brief days Molly had considered it and dragged Lexie along for emotional support. The clinic demanded that you have somebody there to take care of you afterwards. And, even though it was pushing the boundaries, Meredith was the only one left who was close to fitting the bill.

_

* * *

_

"Lexie." She answered the door with the same bewildered frown as she had only hours before.

"Hi." Lexie said lamely. She had prepared a whole speech about how once Meredith had done her this favour she would disappear from her life for good. That if she was her proper big sister just once she never had to do it again. But that went out the window when she saw the expression and the frown.

"You okay?" Meredith asked guardedly. She was trying hard not to show how irritated she was that Lexie was on her front step again. She tried to remind herself that Lexie was pregnant and alone. She tried to be sisterly. But the act was going to wear off fast if Lexie kept coming around unannounced like this.

"Uh yeah…" Lexie looked down at her feet and tried to summon all the pent up anger she'd felt in the car. It was only thing energised enough to propel her into speech.

"I told Mark about the… Well you know."

"Right." Meredith nodded still looking bewildered and trying hard not to imagine Derek sitting in front of the TV two rooms away and how much she wanted to rejoin him. "Do you want to…?" She gestured towards the swing chair on the veranda vaguely.

Lexie nodded with a smile, glad Meredith was finally offering her an opening. She sat down and continued; "He was less than excited." She laughed at herself; "Guess that was kind of expected."

Meredith nodded, trying to think of something to say. She didn't want to sound too nosy but the question of the future seemed too tempting to pass up; "So what are you going to do?"

Lexie hesitated. Half an hour ago the answer had been obvious. In her spout of anger the whole thing had appeared to her like a vision. She had nobody and people who had nobody didn't raise kids. So she was going to get it taken care of and go back to ignoring Mark Sloan. The only thing missing that she'd needed was Meredith Grey, and that was why she was here right?

But now doubts were starting to creep back into her thoughts, clouding her clarity. They were like little clumps of bacteria forming around the edges of a perfectly healthy wound. She'd never really believed in abortions. She didn't disrespect any woman who chose to get one but she'd never imagined herself making the decision. Was her solution just the result of her hormone swings and temper tantrum? Did she maybe want to keep the baby?

She groaned in frustration. The whole thing was too confusing for her. It was too overwhelming. All she wanted to do was crawl under the bed sheets and bawl for nine months. She knew it was immature but for the second time that night she couldn't find it in herself not to be.

"Meredith, can I please stay here for the night? I don't want to be a burden but… I can't make a decision tonight about anything. And I'm emotional and Mark Sloan... It's all just taken it out of me."

Meredith looked her over in concern. A part of her (the part that was unsupportive and scared shitless of Lexie Grey's need for closeness) wanted to explain politely that for the first twenty eight years of her life she had been an only child and very much wanted to stay that way. But the other part, (the one that didn't get much say very often) felt sorry for her. It had taken a while for Meredith to ask herself the question: 'would it be so bad having Lexie as my real sister?' But once she had asked it, she'd found herself repeating it frequently, especially at times like this. Lexie wasn't so different to her. She didn't have any reliable family and she had boy problems. Meredith had so much experience in those areas it wasn't funny. Maybe she could help Lexie with the pregnancy – maybe it would be the only way the two could form a relationship. They had to do it slowly; ease out of their awkwardness with care; one step at a time. Surely letting her stay when she so miserable and alone was a step.

"Yeah, you can stay." She said softly, offering a tentative smile.

Lexie smiled back. She knew one thing; she was too immature for this. She had to tell Meredith what she wanted in the morning. She had to set things in motion.

* * *

Mark had searched everywhere and was now sitting in the reception area of the hotel in exhaustion. Of course, 'everywhere' for Mark had included the hospital and Joe's bar. But really, where else could he look? He didn't have a clue where Lexie lived.

So he'd come back to the hotel and flopped on the reception couches instead, totally unenthusiastic about the prospect of his hotel room. All that was waiting for him up there was a big bed to lay in. He wouldn't sleep, not with so many thoughts and worries running around in his head.

About an hour before the end of his shift he'd considered the fact that responsibility and support meant a lot of different things and he wasn't quite sure which ones he was supposed to offer. And then a realisation had hit him; it was Addison all over again.

He'd never been good with kids and he'd never particularly liked them. When Addison had told him she was pregnant at first he'd expected to feel crap about it all. But there had been this unexpected emancipation that had come with her revelation that had completely knocked him off his feet. He had a family who loved him. He belonged somewhere. They were going to have a kid who belonged to them and who they belonged to. It was a pretty simple idea but deceptively powerful.

The abortion of course had knocked that belonging on the head. He couldn't have supported Addison in her decision and because of that he couldn't support Lexie either.

But the problem was that he and Lexie weren't a couple. They'd made a massive mistake involving a hotel room and several weeks of pent up attraction. But it had been a mistake. Lexie wasn't mature and learned like Addison. She didn't deserve his hurtful relationship tactics. Despite having put her in such a difficult situation he was adverse to hurting her further. His promise to Derek (or more to himself now really) was wound around his feelings for her so deep he wasn't sure he could even consider offering her anything more than money.

The thought of Lexie as a single mother and surgical resident shot through his mind like an electric shock. His cheating aside, anything would be less hurtful than that. He couldn't leave her alone.

_But what then?_ He thought furiously. Another even more electrifying thought shook him. It was he, Lexie and their baby walking through a park. It was corny but it was utterly intoxicating. Lexie was the first woman he'd had serious feelings about in a while. The first woman _ever_ he'd described as intoxicating. And the image was so... Not even intoxicating really covered it.

The promise ropes around his feelings pulled tighter and he reminded himself quickly that he didn't want to hurt Lexie further. _Mushroom cloud. _

He wasn't husband material, that much he knew. He wasn't going to risk loading Lexie with a pregnancy and a broken heart too. It was too much, no matter how appealing the image of their family looked.

But he wasn't sure that he _wasn't_ father material. Addison had told him he'd be a terrible father but there was something in his bones, deeper than promises and feelings that knew she was wrong. Mark didn't know much about parenting but he thought if you knew you were or weren't up for it then you knew it, either way. He was certainly like that. At the age of twelve he'd known he had it in him to be a doctor. At the age of fourteen he'd known he didn't have it in him to be a decent boyfriend. And now at the age of thirty five, he knew he had it in him to be a good Dad. A kid couldn't hate him like a woman could. A kid couldn't hate him enough to drive him away. When everything else failed, he'd always have that love and there was nothing anyone could do to take it away. And because of that love he knew he could force himself to raise a kid. He knew.

But where did Lexie fit into that? He couldn't be a good father and a bad husband. It wasn't fair to Lexie. So what could he do instead?

Inspiration hit in the form of a third electric shock and it brought a genuine smile to Mark's face.

* * *

Lexie squeezed her eyes shut tight. She thought if she held them tight enough for long enough eventually fatigue would seep in. It had to. She'd never spent an entire night awake in worry. The latest she'd been up from anxiety had been about three but it was now - she checked her watch quickly - 4:07 and she still hadn't had a moment of shut eye.

With a frustrated sigh she rolled over. She was uncomfortable and hot. She was worried about trying to explain her plans to Meredith. She was worried about her plans period.

She couldn't find peace with herself. She didn't know what she wanted. She didn't want to get an abortion, but she didn't want to be her age, immature, alone and pregnant either. She didn't want Meredith to think she was a charity case, but she didn't want to go through with what she was planning without her.

She pushed the covers away from her slim form roughly and stumbled to the kitchen. Throughout the whole ordeal she was glad about one thing; she hadn't had any morning sickness.

She didn't turn any lights on but the street lights filtering through the windows were enough for her to find her away around easily. A banana and a cup of tea in hand she made her way out to the veranda to cool down. It was still only February but pregnancy while not affecting her stomach had greatly affected her temperature.

She placed her tea carefully next to the step and fell into it with a huff. She would have perked herself up with coffee but she'd always found the strong taste too much for her straight out of bed. She needed at least an hour to adjust to coffee.

It didn't take her long to eat her banana – it was gone in a few fretful bites. The tea was scalding hot but she sculled it almost instantly anyway, trying to calm down from the night of worrying. Her burnt tongue did at least take her mind off the baby for a few minutes. She rubbed it against the roof of her mouth trying to bring some feeling back. She knew it wouldn't help but she continued to rub it anyway, maybe just to reassure it was still there and it wasn't about to drop off from the burn.

She was a learned worrier about such things as her tongue dropping off. She'd read some pretty frightening magazine articles as a child about hot beverages and mouth cancer and of course, she hadn't forgotten any of them. She could recite every item of food that was likely to cause heart attack (sourced from an article in one of her Mother's natural medicine magazines – none of them were high in salt but she'd avoided eating too much of them anyway, just in case) and she knew all the sleeping positions that could put her back into disarray later in life (she avoided those too.) She'd also read one about the effect of worrying on unborn babies and immediately began fretting that her fretting was giving the baby a higher chance of deformity.

_This is why you shouldn't be having a baby. _She reminded herself, _as well as being too young, immature and alone, you're a total nut case._

The worries still plagued her though. No matter how frequently she reminded herself she was getting an – she couldn't think the word comfortably – she still worried incessantly. It shouldn't have mattered but for some reason it did.

She frowned a little and let her hand drop to her belly. There wasn't a bulge there but something was different. Maybe it was her imagination but the area was more sensitive to her touch. She caressed it softly still thinking critically about all those magazine articles.

It struck her suddenly that her baby might know what she was planning. That somehow sharing the one body they knew the other's thought and needs. She knew she was being ridiculous but the thought was the most worrying yet – what separated a human being from a foetus?

_Nothing._ She thought in a panic. _Except the uterine wall and skin. That's the only difference. One lives on Earth and one lives inside someone._

The thought terrified her. Sweat beads began to form around her hair line as she thought of it; that little tiny thing she'd seen at the OB/GYN's. It hadn't really affected her that day but it was affecting her now. Her baby was living. Actually living. She didn't know if that meant it had a conscience or not but it would one day.

She knew with that thought permanently etched into her scull she would never be able to go through with an abortion. Perhaps if she had a normal memory like everybody else she would have pushed it aside – made it go away. But she didn't and that thought had rendered her incapable. She'd over thought it and now she had to go through with it. She had a person growing inside her, a person that probably didn't want to stop existing just so she could go back to normal.

She buried her head in her hands. Now everything really was a mess. What would she do with a baby? She was a surgeon with very little money and as she'd established the night before; nobody. Somehow the thought didn't have the same power in the face of the person growing inside her. It actually seemed rather feeble and petty now. It had been such a forbidding propellant the night before.

The sunlight had begun to creep over the hills in the distance before Lexie heard the sounds of human life inside the house. Izzie was the first – obvious by the sound of pots and pans being dislodged in their cupboards. A toilet flushing and the following clumsy footsteps - obviously Alex. And then shortly after there was genuine laughter from upstairs – Derek and Meredith.

She smoothed back her hair and glanced ahead with a sigh.

"Hey."

She knocked her mug over in shock. Mark Sloan was standing in front of her.

"Uh… What… How… What are you doing here?"

"That's not what a guy likes to hear in the morning." He said with a smile trying to coax her out of shock.

Her expression didn't change. It occurred to her again that Mark Sloan was standing in front of her at five in the morning and she was wearing a flimsy robe.

"I thought you might be here." He said with a shrug, "You are."

She stared at him perplexed.

"Mind if I sit down?"

_Uh… Yes._

"How did you know I'd be here?" She asked despite herself.

"Made sense." He said gruffly lowering himself onto the step, "Figured you'd want to be with Meredith."

"Meredith and I don't exactly have a sisterly relationship." She said looking away. She didn't trust the way he looked at her.

"It's more sisterly than you think." He said, "She let you stay here didn't she? She wanted to protect you from me. Sounds pretty sisterly."

She snorted underneath her breath, looking straight ahead at the increasingly energised neighbourhood. It surprised her how many people were up and about at five in the morning. If she hadn't been a surgeon she wouldn't have bothered getting up before seven.

"I wasn't trying to pass the blame off yesterday." He said softly. She barely had time to register that he was talking about the baby before he continued on quickly; "I was just trying to make sure I had all my facts right."

She nodded, perhaps even more shocked than she had been moments before hand; "Well… You do."

"Good." He said with another smile.

They sat in silence for a few moments. Lexie wondered if this was just a little bit strange or if it was her imagination. Somehow she figured it was the first. There was something absurd about them talking in such a blasé tone about her pregnancy at five in the morning on Meredith Grey's front door step.

"Are you okay?"

She looked up at him properly for the first time and the genuine concern in his eyes – so real and so caring – made her want to start crying again. She shook her head and tried to blink away the tears without him seeing.

"I just… Don't know what to do. You have this idea of what person you're going to be when you grow up and… I'm just not that person anymore." She let a few tears roll down her cheeks; "And I'm so sick of crying!" She added, laughing at herself.

He laughed too putting an arm around her shoulder. It felt nice and for a moment Lexie thought that things might turn out okay. For a moment she made herself forget what the nurses and – well everyone – said about Mark Sloan. She made herself remember what she'd seen in him that night she'd gone to his hotel room. Goodness. Because people who weren't good didn't bother being nice to you for weeks. They didn't make people speak for the first time in years. They didn't care about you at five in the morning.

"So do you know what you're going to do?" He asked gently.

She shrugged; "I'm not really in the right place in my life to raise a baby but… I don't see any alternatives. And I have no idea how I'm going to manage."

She looked up at him again and added softly; "Plus, I never really wanted to raise a child who didn't have a father."

Her words had spurred some deep emotion within him, she could see that. She had the urge to press on and find out what it was but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

"You don't have to… If you don't want to."

She stared at him in surprise, a furrow forming between her eyebrows.

"What do you mean you'd…?"

"I don't want to hurt you Little Grey. I've hurt you enough already. But I'm an attending. I have enough money for a decent place and all the practical stuff."

"So you're offering me money?" She asked, understanding dawning.

"Yes but not only money." He said looking away; "I don't think I'm husband material Lexie but I'd like to be around. I don't think a kid should be shoved between Mom and Dad every weekend. We could… We could get the apartment together."

She frowned again. What did that stipulate for their relationship exactly? He didn't want to marry her but…

"So you want to be there but you don't want to…"

"Be together." He finished slowly.

Hurt pulsed through her like poison. She hadn't thought about Mark like that since the morning he had said they shouldn't have sex again but that didn't mean the thought hadn't briefly flittered through her mind at words like 'apartment' and 'together.' She had liked Mark a lot before – it was kind of given. He was dangerously good looking and charming but it was his kindness and sense of humour that had hooked her. The same way it had hooked her with George. Only Mark had been more callous with her feelings; he'd given her hope and snatched t away again. At least George had been straight with her. Or as staight about things as George could be anyway.

Mark could sense that she was disheartened at his words and he back tracked fast horrified that she truly believed he didn't want to be with her; "Not that I don't… I'm not good for you Little Grey. Like I said, I'm not husband material. And – being together – it'll only complicate things. You'd end up hating me and not wanting to live with me. I don't want to mess things up. If we're friends we'll always be friends and that'd be the best for the kid right?"

She hadn't thought of if like that before. It did seem rather logical. Being Mark's friend meant she didn't have to divorce him. It meant the baby would always have a peaceful childhood, just like the one she'd had.

"So… Friends then?"

"With benefits." He said with a wink.

Her mouth dropped in shock.

"Joke! Joke!" He exclaimed quickly, laughing. "Jeez woman you're going to have to do some serious readjusting to your sense of humour if we're going to live together."

"Are you going to be an arse the whole time?" She asked trying to contain a smile, "Because if you are then you can forget it."

"How about every second Sunday?"

"You'll be an arse?"

"No a decent human being. I'm not perfect! Now can we get breakfast here or what? I'm starving."

With a smile she lead him inside. He had to pause briefly at the door and remind himself.

_Mushroom cloud._

He figured he would become very accustomed to those two words over the next few months.

* * *

**Anyone want to make a wager on how long Big Sloan will want to be 'just friends' with Little Grey? :D Reviewers get a 'friend with benefits' in the form of Mark Sloan. Of course ;)**


	5. This Is Not A Love Song

**A/N I'm not even going to try and excuse myself for my lack of updates. I promised them ages ago and I broke said promise. I suck. I do offer a new chapter though :) A little late to coincide with valentines day but... Enjoy anyway, lol. Speaking of which, how was everyone's valentines day? Mark/Lexie styled lovely or horrendous? Let me know via the review button... And tell me what you thought of the chapter as well of course :)

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**Chapter Five –**** This Is Not a Love Song**

_Fourteen Weeks_

She frowned as the calendar in front of her confirmed her fears. Fourteen weeks. It may as well have sixteen. Or eighteen. Four and a half months.

_Half way._

She'd never really considered how terrifying the words 'half way' were but now at almost eighteen weeks pregnant and half an hour short of moving into her new apartment with Mark Sloan she was beginning to realize.

With a sigh she pulled her unkempt hair out of its unkempt pony tail and straightened her blouse.

It hadn't taken Mark long to find them a spacious modern apartment only a few minutes from the hospital. Lexie had almost blanched at the price but it really wasn't her place to be concerned. Mark had offered to keep her and she had graciously accepted. The end.

She gnawed at the top of her water bottle apprehensively as the minutes ticked by. It was the first time since they'd paid the bond that they'd been off at the same time. After tonight they'd be officially living together.

_8:40_

"There you are! I've been looking for you all day."

George's voice made her jump a little in fright. He didn't seem to notice as he slid into the seat next to her.

"You have?" She was sure the shake in her voice gave her away.

"Yeah. There are boxes in our apartment."

With a jolt she realized in her emotional turmoil she'd forgotten to tell George she was moving out. She swallowed nervously. How was she going to explain this?

"I'm… Err… Moving out."

Confusion adorned George's boyish features as he played with the words; "Moving out? When?"

"Uh… Fifteen minutes actually. Probably twenty five. Depending on traffic."

She hadn't expected him to look hurt. In fact, she'd expected relief. There had been such an abundance of awkward avoidance between the two of them over the last four months she hadn't even been completely sure George remembered who she was. Or that they lived in the same apartment.

"Why?"

Now there was a tough one. What was she supposed to say to that? She and Mark had tried to keep things as discreet as possible but word always got out at Seattle Grace and she wasn't ready for word to get out just yet (as naïve as that sounded.) She knew telling George was pretty much akin to telling the whole hospital because he'd tell Izzie who'd tell Alex who would tell pretty much anyone who listened. Well that wasn't entirely fair. Alex really didn't hold enough interest in her affairs to tell anyone about them. It was the kind of nasty thing he'd do though.

"It's kind of hard to explain." She chuckled a bit at that. Impossible more like.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"When?" She didn't want to be angry with George. She didn't want to fight with him. She tried to keep her crazy emotions in check.

"Maybe when you started thinking about getting a new apartment."

"You've constantly avoiding me!" She said quietly; "I haven't even spoken to you in the last few months."

"Is that why you're moving out?"

"No."

"Then why? I can't understand…"

"Oh would you stop?!" She exclaimed jumping up from her position on the bench; "Maybe I don't want to tell you George. Maybe… Maybe…" She took a deep breath; "Maybe my whole life doesn't revolve around you and my feelings for you any more."

She was already out the door before she had time to consider that she'd said what she'd said. As she marched up the corridor, apprehension growing with each step, she berated herself for the outburst. Whatever remnants of her friendship with George that had remained from the avoidance were completely destroyed now, she was sure of it. And even though he'd avoided her and taken advantage of her feelings for him unknowingly, she didn't want to end their friendship.

She still cared for him.

When she reached the front doors of the hospital tears were starting to flow. She wondered briefly if her mood swings could really be considered mood swings; there wasn't much swinging to speak of. She was constantly upset.

When Mark found her at exactly eight o'clock she had the undeniable signs of someone who had been crying recently.

"You alright Little Grey?" He asked, wincing at how it sounded. He was practicing the art of the unattached caring tone but he feared his question sounded a little too unattached.

She looked up with a smile; "Yeah… Hormones… And George."

Mark tried to hide the anger that surfaced at the mention of O'Malley's name. "What'd he do?" His voice was gravelly and he tried immediately to correct it.

"Nothing," She said quickly, she smiled reassuringly again; "I'm being stupid. And pathetic." She added as an after thought.

He almost smiled at the reference to their friendship days. Back then he would have teasingly agreed with her, scorned her playfully for being so disposable. Now he wanted to take her home and look after her. Hold her.

He tried to stop the thoughts there but his imagination ran away from him anyway, gleefully skimming through all the other things he wanted to do for her. He considered momentarily that perhaps it was his hormones that were out of whack, not hers.

"Nothing like doing a whole lot of heavy lifting to cheer you up." He said with a smile, blocking out the images; "Or, watching someone else do a whole heap of heavy lifting for you."

She laughed. This seemed so effortless for him. She'd never considered that Mark Sloan might be okay with this kind of thing. Perhaps their 'parental friends' agreement was the stuff of revolution. Maybe one day they could write a book on it and call it the 'Sley' method of parenting.

* * *

"God Little Grey, how much hospital equipment did you steal to make this place homely?" Mark grunted carting a box of cereal containers (or hospital jugs) into the boot of his car.

"Roughly $200 worth." She said matter of factly. "It would have been more like $700 had I stolen a TV."

"A TV?" He shot her an incredulous glance.

"Tried. Failed. Bolted to the walls."

"Remind me to lock my valuables in the vault." He tipped a box of clothes on top of the cereal containers (or scrubs on hospital jugs) and then muttered something that sounded horribly like; "I'm moving in with a criminal."

She giggled lightly.

It wasn't a long drive from the crapartment to her new apartment. Or their new apartment. Both were close to the hospital which would be convenient.

No matter how many times she walked through the front doors Lexie still couldn't grasp the idea that this was her apartment building. She tried to remind herself that money was no issue for Mark – he'd been living in a five star hotel for God knew how long – but after living in the crapartment this felt utterly bizarre.

He insisted on carrying all her belongings – or rather, the hospital's belongings – up into the apartment and into one of the two larger bedrooms. The third smaller one was obviously reserved for the baby. Lexie shook a bit at the thought.

Something she hadn't considered before the actual moving process had been furniture. Mark of course had taken care of that and the sight of an extravagant queen sized bed plus a matching dresser made her blush uncomfortably.

"You didn't have to… You know…" She gestured feebly.

He shrugged seemingly unfazed; "Considering the state of your apartment I thought you probably didn't have decent furniture either."

She grinned in an embarrassed sort of way at the thought of her cheap 2 mm thick mattress back at the crapartment. Twenty bucks from a used furniture store and now George's property.

"You hungry?" Mark asked.

"Mmmm, a bit." She was ravenous. Despite her lack of morning sickness the last week had left her feeling off her food slightly. She felt hungrier than she had in days.

"Toast? It's about the only thing I know how to cook."

She grinned. "Guess you'll be doing a lot of cleaning then."

"Huh?"

She frowned; "Have you ever… lived with anyone before?"

"My parents. Derek for a while. There was also college." He said indignantly; "And I've had flat mates here and there."

"Female flat mates?" She asked with a suggestive eye raise.

"Well no…" He admitted sheepishly; "I mean… Temporary… Over night… Ones…" He stopped short.

"Well girls are a little more meticulous about cleaning and cooking and it was always a rule with my flat mates and I that one person would cook and the other would clean." She said quickly trying to breeze over the awkward lull in his conversation.

"Huh…" He shrugged, "Makes sense. Of course, if we were living fifty years ago…"

"Don't say it." She said shaking her head with a knowing smile.

"No… I've never successfully gotten that out in front of a woman before. Still…" He grinned mischievously; "Worth a try."

"Uh!" She exclaimed in mock disgust; "Go and make some toast!"

He grinned impishly before ducking out the door. She lingered behind a little while longer absorbing her surroundings. Warm colours adorned the dark brick walls and the bed side lamp cast a comforting but alluring light around the room. She felt comfortable. At home.

With a smile she skipped out lightly, eager to see the results of Mark's cooking.

"Peanut butter?"

She nodded, resisting the urge to fly over the black marble bench and snatch the freshly made toast out of his hands.

He seemed to notice her expression because he buttered quickly.

"What were you and O'Malley fighting about?"

She looked at her hands apprehensively. She'd fallen into her comfort zone and she wasn't keen to leave it. Talking about George was always a subject of humiliation.

"I didn't exactly tell him I was moving out." She said with a short laugh; "It sounds vague and… Ridiculous but we've had alternating shifts and… with the baby I haven't really registered everything going on around me."

There was silence momentarily as he pushed the peanut butter toast towards her.

"I'm sorry Little Grey."

"It's not your fault." She said quickly toying with the corners of the bread; "It's not anyone's fault it's just… the way it is."

She took a bite as politely as she could. The salty taste soon took over her need to be polite however and she stuffed mouthfuls in as quickly as she could.

"Craving?"

She shrugged licking the peanut butter off her fingers. "Not so much craving for peanut butter as it is a craving for food in general. Haven't really been thinking about that either."

"You've got to take care of yourself." He said sternly, pushing his half finished toast towards her. "Forget about telling George and forget about money."

He wanted so badly to add that he was going to take care of her but he wasn't sure what it implied. He looked away from her instead, embarrassed that all he could offer her was some sort of platonic arrangement. He was sure his ridiculously over paid shrink back in New York would have a word for how he was feeling. All that sprang to his mind was 'unmanliness' which didn't really even begin to cover it. He did feel stripped of his masculinity. He wanted to offer her more than money and friendship. But there was that promise he couldn't seem to shake. The one he'd made with himself concerning Lexie Grey and her fragility.

That was the good thing about well paid shrinks. They had a way of wrapping 'unmanliness,' 'self hatred,' and 'warped protectiveness' into one neat little package that could be vaporized in an instant.

"What do you think the nurses will say? And… Everyone."

She knew it sounded shallow but she couldn't help herself. She wasn't perfect and she did worry about what others thought of her. She liked pleasing people. She liked being liked. She'd had a very successful high school career based on other's opinions of her and she wasn't keen to change that now she was in the work force.

He shrugged; "Does it matter?"

She didn't reply straight away. How could she? No it didn't matter. But she still cared. It still hurt to have people looking at her and pointing.

"Does it matter to you?"

"We're talking about the same nurses who formed a united front against me." He said with a chuckle, "After that I'm sure I can survive anything they throw at me." He frowned slightly; "Does it matter to you?"

"I guess…" She said honestly; "I don't know. It doesn't _not_ matter."

She grinned sheepishly.

"It shouldn't, I know."

"I really am sorry for this Little Grey."

The honesty of it struck her in the pit of her stomach. She looked away quickly trying to hide how much it meant to her that he cared. For some reason it had become very important to protect her feelings around Mark Sloan. She wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was their fragile friendship that teetered on the edge between one unknown and another. Sometimes though the thought of letting Mark Sloan in scared her because she wasn't sure she could let him back out again. It had been hard enough the first time when the premise of their relationship balanced on weeks of pent up attraction and one night of sex.

"Nothing to be sorry for." She replied, still not meeting his eye, "I think I might go to bed."

She looked up then with a forced grin.

The eyes that met hers almost shattered her façade.

"I'll see you in the morning." She said quickly, jumping off the black kitchen stool and retreating to her room.

_It'll get easier. _She chanted. _The insane emotions will go away and it will. Get. Easier._

She went to bed not even remotely convinced.

* * *

**You have no idea how hard it was to write a sentence involving 'letting Mark Sloan in' with a straight face. I blame it on 'Angus, thongs and perfect snogging' which is possibly the stupidest movie I've ever seen and has reduced my brain to mush. Oh and Shonda Rhimes for using the innuendo in the first place, lol. I think I said something about reviewing above but now I'm offering Mark Sloan as your valentine. You know you want him ;)**


	6. Life in Technicolor

**A/N Again, sorry for the rediculously long wait. I fear the prospect of me getting into the habit of updating quickly is becoming less likely than Malcom Turnball saying a sentence that doesn't include the word 'oppose.' Writing this out did get my creative juices flowing though and I have the next chapter mapped out and (dare I say it?) it should be up sooner than this one was. Enjoy :)

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**Chapter Six – Life in Technicolor**

There was one thing Lexie didn't appreciate about her new modern apartment; her bathroom mirror took up nearly an entire wall. It sounded ridiculous but having had nearly no contact with a large mirror for more than three months the site of her bulging abdomen was just a little disconcerting when she stepped out of the shower for the first time.

Could she really not have registered such a change? She traced a circle around her belly button in amazement. It wasn't overly obvious. It wasn't a change that a friend would notice readily.

But she could.

It wasn't the first time in twenty four hours she'd considered the possibility that she'd slept walked through the first few months of her pregnancy. Between not telling George she was moving out, moving in with Mark on a whim and not even noticing a grape fruit sized bump hanging around her waist she was a little concerned about her ignorance.

Wrapping a towel around her frame securely she made a mental note to pay more attention that day and get herself organised for the coming months. The thought made her feel a little sick.

It was only early and she padded across the hall quietly trying not to wake Mark. Last night had been awkward and she was keen to be gone by the time he got up.

"Caught you."

She looked up startled to see Mark smirking at her mercilessly.

"I was just… I didn't want to… Wake you/." She finished lamely her hand lingering on the door knob.

"It's your place too Little Grey. Do whatever you want."

He didn't linger in the hallway long enough for her to feel awkward about her state of undress. He simply gave her a quick grin and continued on into the kitchen.

She paid extra close attention to how she dressed that day, registering which pants had got tighter and which blouses fit more snugly. She was relieved to find that most of her clothes covered the bump easily. It wasn't just her body that was different though – she was pleased to see her skin was especially clear. She'd never had acne (nice skin being a trait she'd got form her mother) but now it was even clearer, adorning a sort of sheen.

"Toast?" Mark asked when she emerged from her bedroom, blue sweater and car keys in hand.

"No thanks." She said with a smile, "I've got a lot to do today." _Call Molly, talk to Meredith, book another appointment with the OBGYN, figure out the details of my internship…_

She ignored the squirmy feelings. This was her reality.

"You should eat something." Mark said sternly. "Folate, fibre…"

"Really, Cristina's going to be bitchy enough as it is."

He rolled his eyes before marching over to her and steering her to the bench.

"You should listen to me." He said silencing her attempted protests, "I'm a doctor."

"Ha, ha." She muttered, "Meanwhile, my boss is probably going to implode."

"I'm your boss's boss which makes me your boss and I'm telling you to sit down and get fat." He said cheekily, sliding a piece of buttered toast towards her.

"I can take care of myself you know." She said in defeat, picking up the toast and taking a bite.

He just made a look that Lexie was certain said 'I'm not so sure about that.'

* * *

Cristina was particularly bitchy when Lexie arrived thirty minutes later than she was supposed to but it resulted in her being put on post op and pre op for the day which provided the perfect opportunity to sort how she was going to tell her sisters about her decision.

Meredith was easier than she had expected. She was moving between Trevor Davis (hip replacement) and Carly Shortis (benign tumour) when she ran into her catching up with paperwork on one of the nurses stations.

Meredith was the one to initiate conversation smiling and offering a "how is everything?"

Taken back Lexie smiled back and nodded moronically, "Good… Everything's good."

"So… You've decided on what you're going to do?"

She took a deep breath; "I'm going to keep it. Mark's been really good about everything."

This seemed to come as a surprise to Meredith. She raised an eyebrow suspiciously but didn't make comment; "Do you know how you're going to tie it in with your internship?"

"I'm still… figuring that all out." She admitted sheepishly, "It's easier now that Mark's offered to pay for everything."

"So he's paying you…?"

"Yeah but he wants to be a part of the baby's life too."

The thought made her feel a little guilty. Had she been short with him that morning at breakfast? Obviously he was only caring for the baby. With the thought of everything she had to do she'd brushed his concern off a little too quickly.

While it brought her some guilt it also brought her some warmth. While the previous night had been awkward he seemed well learned in the practise of brushing off awkwardness and simply soldiering on.

Being the kind of person that dwelled on things for months on end, Lexie thought that that would probably be very refreshing.

"I'm happy for you… That you're getting it all sorted out."

Meredith gave her a quick smile before returning the patient's folder to it's appropriate slot behind the nurses station and walking away.

And right there, Lexie Grey was almost glad she was pregnant. Because even though there were no sisterly cuddles and no in depth probing conversations, there was progress.

Progress was a nice change from disappointment.

* * *

"Have you talked to Mark lately?"

Derek Shepherd looked up, his expression curious, his mouth half full of unchewed salad sandwich.

"Not since he turned up on our doorstep to talk to Lexie at five in the morning. And then stole my toast."

Meredith snorted; "They're keeping the baby."

Derek raised his eyebrows; "Really? I thought they were talking about it that morning and it was going in a completely different direction."

"Nope." She toyed with her sandwich thoughtfully before adding; "Would it be totally pointless of you to warn Mark, _again_, not to do anything especially man whorish?"

"Probably." He admitted. "I have a feeling everything I say to Mark is just incentive for him to do the complete opposite."

He paused before asking with a smile; "Not another sisterly flush?"

She rolled her eyes; "She's pregnant Derek. I can't pretend she doesn't exist when she's pregnant. There'd have to be a commandment against it somewhere... It would be just down right mean."

"I like it when you care about your sister."

"I know." She muttered. The form of one Mark Sloan caught her eye and she nodded at him subtly; "Now's your chance."

Derek grimaced a little before finishing the last bite of his sandwich and approaching Mark in the lunch line.

"Moving in with Lexie huh? I'm surprised I haven't had daily updates about this drama."

"I wouldn't call it a drama." Mark grunted indignantly. He immediately regretted the disclosure of information and added quickly; "You think your girlfriend could find someone else to gossip about other than her little sister?"

"I wouldn't call it gossip." Derek said, "She's just concerned."

"Don't go there." Mark warned. "The last time you used that word I did exactly what Meredith didn't want me to. Just leave me in peace and I might have a hope of getting it right."

The words surprised Derek a little and he was compelled not to say anymore. Mark's opinion on the subject was obviously more serious than he had expected and he wasn't ready for joking and light heartedness.

"I trust you'll do the right thing by her."

Mark looked up at him in shock; "I slept with your wife! And you girlfriend's half sister."

"And I forgive you every time."

"Moron."

Derek laughed before giving him a slap on the back and walking away. Mark watched him exit the cafeteria just a little bemused at all the things he would and did do for Meredith Grey.

Kind of like all the things he would and did do for _Lexie_ Grey he observed, looking down at the two sandwiches he'd just bought.

There was something about those Grey women.

* * *

When Lexie got the 911 page to the cafeteria she was a little suspicious. It wasn't an especially obvious place for a code blue. None the less her step was hurried and she pushed past people roughly in her bid to be hasty. Someone could have keeled over from heart burn or dodgy hospital food or…

Nothing at all.

She gave him a look of disbelief. "You paged 911 for this?"

"You make light of starving children Little Grey?"

She rolled her eyes and plonked herself into the seat next to him. She was too warmed by the concern to bite back with a comment about all the paper work she had to fill out for John Silverman. She wasn't entirely comfortable for him paying for her lunch – he was paying for enough as it was. As soon as the bread hit her tongue though she could not find it in herself to be guilty. She was too hungry.

"How's your day been?"

She stopped shovelling for a moment to get something that sounded vaguely like 'good actually' out before taking a desperate gulp of water.

He watched her eat is a bemused sort of fashion, calmly going through some paperwork of his own and checking his pager every few minutes.

"You don't have to wait for me to finish." She said just a little embarrassed, "If you want to go you can go."

He shook his head; "How would I be sure you'd actually finish eating?"

"I'd hope self preservation instincts would kick in eventually."

"Doctors are too concerned with everyone else's preservation to be worried about their own. They're dumb arses."

She laughed, finishing off the last of her lettuce. "I have to go finish some post ops but… I'll see you later?"

He nodded and she turned to walk away. She got about three steps before the word 'wait' came unwillingly from his lips and he vaulted himself out of his chair and handed her a water bottle.

"Keep hydrated."

She was tempted to make some trite comment about the 'food police' but noticed that there was some deep emotion burning behind his concern. The genuineness caught her off guard. Was this the same concern as this morning and last night?

The thought made her giddy.

"I will." She promised, taking the bottle and turning her mind to post ops.

* * *

She was on her last patient of the day when she first heard the whispers. At first she disregarded it because it was the nurses and the nurses tended to gossip about everything from brick walls to politics. But then she heard the whispers when she entered the locker room on her way home. Fellow interns pointing, staring and whispering.

She tried to ignore it. She tried to tell herself she had goo in her hair or something. She quickly stuffed her sweater and keys into her bag and marched out, determined to ignore everyone until she reached the safe inner confines of her car.

George derailed those plans when she got to the elevator.

"Lexie!" He called, running to catch up with her. "Hold it." He caught the doors and pushed them aside.

"What do you want George?" She asked, not meeting his eye.

"Is it true?"

There was no one else in the elevator but she looked around self consciously anyway. "Is what true?"

"Are you… Are you pregnant?"

Her gut lurched and she swallowed heavily. It had got out. She hadn't wanted it to get out yet. The whispers had not been aimed at offending goo or anything related.

She was knocked up girl.

"Yeah. It's true." She admitted.

There was an uncomfortable silence between them as that sunk in. She'd never really noticed it before, but it took a long time to get between the surgical and ground floor.

"And Mark…? Is he helping?"

She was surprised that there was concern in George's tone.

"Yeah he's been great actually. I imagine the nurses had a different version."

George chuckled, "They overheard you and Meredith talking but I'm sure they fictionalised a great deal of it."

Lexie agreed with a laugh of her own. She almost felt like saying sorry for her vague behaviour over the last few months and her outburst the previous night.

"If you need anything or… Want to talk to a friend… I'm here." He said softly.

It was like a weight had been lifted from her chest. She hated fighting with anyone let alone someone she liked or considered a friend. She offered him a small smile and a 'thanks' before the door of the elevator slid open and they went their separate ways.

And if the nurses had to find out about her condition for some kind of resolution to be formed between her and George then… so be it.

_They have to find out some time. _

She smiled to reassure herself.

It was progress.

* * *

When Mark Sloan pushed open the door of his new apartment he was hit with a waft of Rosemary so strong he wondered for a moment if there'd been a spontaneous combustion involving a glass bottle of the stuff. Instead he found Lexie fussing about the oven and chewing on various vegetables.

"Oh!" She spun around quickly like she'd been caught in the act of doing something wrong.

Mark raised his eyebrows at the abundance of food.

"I just… Wanted to say thank you for looking after my food portions all day and I thought… Well if I made a nice dinner for the both of us then you wouldn't have to worry." She joked awkwardly.

"You have a good day little Grey?" He asked with a bemused chuckle depositing his coat on one of the stools.

She smiled; "Yeah… It was good. I'm the main focus of the rumour mill and I must admit part of me feels like curling up in a ball and never going to work again because I'm pathetic and I do actually care what people think," she took a deep breath, "but I had a successful conversation with George and Meredith and I booked an OB appointment."

She offered him a piece of carrot.

"There was progress."

"So you cooked this to repay me $2 in lunch money?" He asked in disbelief.

"It's more than the money." She said quietly, "It's the concern."

"You didn't think I was going to be concerned?"

She bit her lip; "No. I guess I didn't."

He couldn't repress the hurt she induced with her words but he knew it was only fair. He had treated her disrespectfully in the weeks following their one night stand and he had given her no reason to trust him.

"I'm glad I proved you wrong."

"Me too."

_Progress._

* * *

**Next chapter will cover the OB appointment. And I will get it up faster... :D Who could turn down Mark and food combined for the mere price of a eview?? ;)**


	7. Follow the Cops Back Home

**A/N I wouldn't be surprised if anyone deemed an update in the next decade impossible - for a while even I couldn't see it happening. I got really stuck with this. I had to lengthen and split to get it working. I also had to move the plot around a bit - consequently the OB appointment won't be for a couple of chapters. I really hope you enjoy anyway - consider this part one of the next few chapters :)**

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**Chapter Seven – Follow the Cops Back Home**

Lexie banged the vending machine in a temper. It'd been five minutes since she'd sacrificed seventy five cents for a Boost bar and she was fighting the urge to overturn the machine and go on a rampage through the hospital.

She growled as it creaked in protest, thumping it again for good measure.

Wielding no results she gritted her teeth and turned away. She hadn't eaten in thirty six hours, she could no longer feel her legs and she was sure someone had tampered with the hospital heating because her scrubs were soaked with sweat.

She was slowing. A month ago she would have handled the random influx of work with little resistance. Now, sixteen weeks into the complete upheaval of her life, she didn't think she could handle it for another second. She hadn't been home in an entire week spending various hours of the day ducking in to on call rooms all over the hospital for sleep. She'd had countless pages from Mark (which she'd ignored) probably designed to provide an opportunity for him to berate her about her work load.

"He can pin part of the blame on the chief." She thought to herself.

She knew it was only a matter of time before he found out. The hospital was his baby and no sizeable controversy could remain off his radar. She'd heard about 'Mummy tracking' but she'd only thought it applied to _mothers_, not mother's to be. Every time she passed him (usually in a rush, beeping pager in hand to prove that she was very busy and very capable of handling that business thank you very much) she could feel his eyes following her, boring into her skull. The other Mummy doctors at Seattle Grace however had one crucial advantage; respect. They weren't interns still scrabbling at the bottom of the food chain trying to get it. The last thing her career needed (especially after the 'cutting club' incident) was loss of respect due to the bulge hanging around her waist.

"Lexie are you alright?"

The question caught her off guard and she halted clumsily. George caught her arm before she went tumbling into the gurney pushed against the wall.

"I'm fine." She laughed a little nervously, a wave of heat rolling over her.

"You look like you're about to throw up." He commented, half concerned half reprimanding; "You should take a break."

She made to protest but he pulled her into the elevator, out the entrance of the hospital and into one of the benches on the hospital grounds before she could gather the energy to do so.

"Put your head between your knees." He advised.

Again she made no protest. He was rubbing her back soothingly and with the wind blowing gently against her she almost felt like a human being again.

"You're supposed to be taking it easy."

"Interns don't take it easy."

"Pregnant interns do."

"Pregnant interns shouldn't exist."

He snorted; "So what are you then, a figment of the imagination?"

"No." She gave a small laugh. "Sometimes though, like right now, I like to think I'm just the product of my subconscious warning me not to have sex. Any minute now I'm going to wake up in the crapartment screaming."

He chuckled, his hand soft on her back.

"How long since you've gone home?"

"A week. I've only slept in my glamorous new apartment twice now."

"You should go home. You've been at work well past the required hours."

She shook her head; "The chief will think I'm weak. Or I'll get behind on surgeries."

"Well that's not completely stupid and ridiculous." He said sarcastically with a George styled eyebrow raise, pulling something suspiciously shiny from his lab coat pocket; "Eat this. You need some sugar."

She looked up at the chocolate bar meekly, "Oh thank god."

He snorted; "I think you mean 'thank George.'"

A shrill beep brought them back to their surgical reality; "I got to go, there's a trauma coming in." He inspected her closely; "Are you going to be okay out here?"

Mouth full she gave a curt nod; "Once I finish this I'll come down to the ER."

"The only reason I'm not objecting to that and forcing you to go home is because this is a 911 page!" He called over his shoulder as he walked towards the entrance.

She laughed, savouring the last of the chocolate bar. Her stomach growled hungrily and she had to fight the urge to run to the coffee cart to get another. Turning her mind to the situation at hand she stood cautiously (making sure the sugar had kicked in enough for her to be standing without fainting) and broke into a run.

Halfway down the staircase her own pager went off; 911 to the ER from Meredith. Giving the screen a quizzical look she took the stairs four at a time launching herself forward. For reasons she couldn't quite comprehend worry began to niggle in her bones.

There was a perfectly logical reason why Meredith had paged her and Cristina hadn't. Perfectly. Logical.

She broke into a sprint, pushing past fellow surgeons and nurses with rushed yet polite; "Get out of the way!"s.

She grabbed a yellow coat as she skidded in; tying it around her neck and pushing open the ER doors simultaneously.

"Molly?!"

* * *

"What if she's decided to get an abortion?"

"She's a surgical intern. She's probably been busy with work all week."

"Or, she's grown half a brain and moved all her stuff back into O'Malley's…"

"Would you stop with all the self doubt bullshit?" Callie muttered rubbing her forehead; "It doesn't suit you and it's freaking me out."

He aimed a kick at the mattress directly above him.

"Oh well that's mature."

"You're being an unsupportive bitch."

"You're being a petty arsehole."

"She hasn't come home in an entire week." He said; "I've left messages and pages and…"

"Dear god." She said with a groan; "You're turning into a girl."

"I know." He sighed.

A silence fell between them, lingering lazily in the dark. She could detect the serious undercurrent of their conversation (despite the carefree tone he was trying to build on.) She wasn't a stranger to serious conversations with Mark but the problem was she didn't know how to distinguish between the Lexie pregnancy and the Addison pregnancy. And that seemed extremely important at this point.

"All I want to do is beg her to stick with it." He admitted. "I don't even know why."

"She's been busy with work. Would you stop over-dramatizing it?"

"If I was her I wouldn't be doing it."

"Yes you would."

"Would you stop contradicting me?" He demanded sticking his head out from under the bunk and giving her a pleading look that took all the venom out of her defence.

"Look…" She sighed, trying to find the softest tone she could, "She's going to go through stages where she's okay with it and she's not okay with it. A week ago she was okay; that doesn't automatically mean she's peachy for the next nine months. Maybe this week is a not okay week. She'll get over it."

He pulled his head back in and she could hear the unmistakeable sounds of disbelief; "Addison didn't."

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. The charming sleaziness was a disguise; she'd known that for a long time. What she didn't know was how she was going to convince him of his worthiness over the coming months.

"You bought a onesie." She sighed; "You're going to be okay at this. I know you are. All the other stuff – the playing, the liking kids – that'll all fall into place. You just got to survive this bit first."

He didn't reply for a moment but then, gruffly, "You're going to have to tell me that a lot."

She smiled; "That's what I'm here for."

They rested peacefully for a while after that, caught up in their own thoughts. At least an hour had lulled before there was any interruption to speak of. The shrill beep of Mark's pager sliced open the peace. He launched himself out of bed and towards the door.

"What's the emergency?" Callie asked curiously.

"Lexie."

* * *

**I'd really appreciate feedback for this chapter - and I really am going to make an effort to get the next few chapters out faster. My friends and I have designed a 'study timetable/bet' to get in shape organisation wise. I'm going to make a point of slotting in fic writing time. :) **


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